Ten Rules to Follow to Get People to Not Hate You

First of all, blogger has changed their interface AGAIN. Aside from still trying to figure out how the NEW facebook works (AGAIN), my technologically impaired brain hurts. This is hard!


But anyway. The whole "revamp" thing is in place, so I'm being positive. Instead of complaining about the crappy things that keep happening to me, I'm going to give you, yes you, lucky readers some advice. Seeing as a bunch of my own family and hubby's family pretty much hate my guts, I'd like to make the world a better place by NOT venting. So I've decided to help you goshdarn lucky folks have things better i.e. not do what I did.

Thus, here are some things you should absolutely NOT do, under any circumstances OR ELSE (people will hate you):

1. Never, ever wake up at 4AM to sweep, mop, scrub, & put stuff away (i.e. clean up) and make breakfast to offer everyone in the house (despite their obvious not-liking-you attitude) and sit down in a rocking chair in the corner to read a book and listen to religious music. You will be dubbed lazy and noisy.
2. Never sweep & mop the house more than once per day, and mop again after the messy shoe-prints all over the freshly mopped floor. You will be dubbed inconveniencing.
3. Never cook up tons of food every day and offer everyone three freshly home-cooked meals a day. You will be dubbed annoying and also, inconveniencing.
4. Never clean up after someone else's pet. The day you miss a clean up you will be dubbed as one who creates a big mess in the house and never cleans.
5. Never get sick and let your illness hamper the cleaning. You will be dubbed lazy, inconveniencing, and as one who makes lots of messes in the house and never cleans.
6. Never handwash your clothes in a bucket when people take your wet clothes out of the machine every time you try to wash your clothes and put in on the couch (you just steamed) they let their hair-shedding dog romp all over. You will be dubbed as too picky, and one who tries to cause trouble.
7. Never take care of someone who just had cosmetic surgery done. This includes carrying them through the snow to their bed on the second floor of their apartment building, standing up to their boyfriends who overdose them on pills, feeding them, sponging them off, cleaning them, walking them, buying medication for them, cooking for everyone in the house & everyone who comes through the door, cleaning morning & night, buying groceries, and taking time off from your 16 hour shifts minimum wage job & part-time school to take care of their kids. This also includes way before & way after said surgery. You will be dubbed a selfish, ungrateful, spoiled, pampered, promiscuous b*tch.
8. Never go to someone's house and wake up at 5 AM to put their kids back to sleep when they leave for work, sweep, cook, make grocery lists, do laundry (wash, hang on the line to dry, fold, & put away), get the kids ready for school, help with homework, and give advice on every single question every kid who walks through the door has. You will be dubbed crazy, selfish, ungrateful, lazy, a bad influence, and spoiled.
9. Never babysit the children of the house you are staying at, wake up at 6AM to clean the house & take care of their pets, do the laundry of the household, tend the rooms of each member of the household, and do all chaperone-related jobs or offer to assist anyone in the household in any way. You will be dubbed the most un-helpful person the said person knows, and will also be known as lazy, crazy, a bad influence, ungrateful, trouble-causing, inconveniencing, and selfish.
10. Never say you don't want anything from someone you barely know (who previously believed negative rumors about you) who offers to spend money on you, immensely thank them for being there every time you speak to them, keep the hell you're facing from their own family members from them so you don't worry them, and try to achieve the near impossible things they asked you to achieve within their families. You will lead them to believe every single rumor spread about you thus far.

I'll end it at ten for now. So there. Don't do any of these things and you have a higher chance of people liking you. Somewhere out there (maybe my readers in Singapore or Finland), I believe I've helped someone to not be taken advantage of and hated. Peace out.